Single on Valentine's Day?

by Heidi Schlumpf

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hschlumpf@ncronline.org

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No, not me. But I haven't been married that long that I can't remember what it was like to be single and looking for a life partner. Back then I dreaded Valentine's Day.

If only I had had the grace-filled, trusting outlook of Beth Knobbe, a Chicago campus minister and author who is living an "intentional single life."

No, she is not a nun.

She just believes that being single can be incredibly fulfilling. And she is not dreading Valentine's Day. As she writes on her blog, "One Single Life":

"Several years ago, I gave up dating all together – a decision over which I have no regrets. I will be single for Valentine’s Day again this year. And it will be glorious! I’m not waiting to get married, not hoping to get hitched, not on the prowl for someone else to satisfy my needs. I don’t miss the days of being absorbed in a never-ending pursuit of a life partner."

In her book, "Party of One: Living Single with Faith, Purpose, and Passion" (St. Anthony Messenger Press, 2011), Knobbe dispels our society's myths that everyone eventually gets married and that life begins when you walk down the aisle.

In her Valentine's Day blog post, Knobbe says that "love arrives in many different packages." For her, it means close women friends.

"For me, that is the definition of intimacy, the marker of true love. Who is that special someone that knows you like no one else, and accepts you for who you are? Who holds onto your darkest secrets and deepest hurts, embraces your greatest longings and most daunting fears, shares your most abundant joy, and creates moments that make you laugh and cry at the same time?"

Even married folks know that a spouse can't be that perfect intimate person for us all the time. For that, we need God--whether married or single.

Are you single on Valentine's Day? Do you dread it or is it glorious?

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